The pleasure sensors in my brain went off at dizzying intervals when I first tried mochi ice cream, courtesy of a lovely parlor named Bubbies. A quaint vintage style sign invites you into an eclectically decorated and warmly lit shop. I ordered green tea, lychee, sakura, guava, azuki bean and pumpkin flavored mochi ice cream. While waiting I amused myself by snapping photos of the establishment and giggling softly at their unorthodox menu items.
I sat eating the little mochi wrapped delights and made note of all the menu item names which ranged from borderline obscene to just plain odd. I attempted to rearrange the names into sentences to make a story tribute to the Bubbies menu. Here is what I came up with:
There once was a man named BOB MCWILLIAMS SUNDAE. After hours of air travel he felt like he was RUNNING ON EMPTY. He slept off the jet lag and spent the day getting his bearings. On his FIRST NIGHT in Honolulu he met up with his friend THOMAS KEMPER to celebrate his 35TH Year of life. They began their evening getting groomed at a salon called HAIR BY DANIEL, then they went to a small corner restaurant and shared a SMUD PIE, they packed the leftovers in a doggie bag. After filling their bellies Bob and Thomas headed to the ping-pong courts, where they exchanged a few competitive shouts of “EAT MY BALLS”. Bob then treated Thomas to a unique service known around the island as BUFFY’S AURAL MASSAGE. The guys were having so much fun, they decided to KEEP IT UP ALL NIGHT… As they were walking down the street and considering their next destination a small voice called out from the sidewalk. “COME HERE LITTLE GIRL”, said Bob. “Sir, I think you lost this”, she said while holding a container of restaurant leftovers. “MAYBE THE BAG BROKE”, said Thomas. “Thank you”. The girl scurried off and they continued on their way. They arrived at the local club known as BABY SPANGLER. The guys walked up to the bar and ordered a round of TRASHY MOCHA shots.
The main musical act that night was KNOCK ME UP ON THE BLOWER and they played their two latest radio singles ‘MULTIPLE ORGASM’ and ‘PRISONER OF MY MIND’. The guys busted a move on the dance floor and left the club that night after having the crowd name a dance after them, that will forever be known as the ‘POKE, STROKE and SUNDAE shuffle. After an evening of TOTAL INSANITY Bob and Thomas headed to the obvious next destination: Bubbies Homemade Ice Cream and Desserts. That night was a special night at the ice cream shop, the special female staff was on call. The beautiful ladies were known as the Bubbies girls or the Bubbies for short. They did a little jig called the BUBBIES NAVEL while wearing trademark BUBBIES PASTIES. All the ice cream goers applauded. Bob and Thomas ordered a BATHTUB TOILET SUNDAE which was MORE THAN A MOUTHFUL. Tuckered out, sweetened up and ready to go, the guys headed home. “Hey Bob”, Thomas said… “Yes?” “You know after all the stuff we experienced tonight, I am just happy to return home and still be able to say I have a FUNCTIONING PROSTATE”.
After brainstorming the most ridiculous story I have ever written and fully engorging myself on mochi ice cream delights… I was hooked! I fell in love that day. Yes, you heard correctly…In love. Let me say it again, fore I am not ashamed…
I am in love with a deliciously rich, softly wrapped, easily savored piece of culinary genius.
If you are ever in the vicinity, remember me and visit Bubbies.
And for those of you who are nowhere near the vicinity, you might consider looking into online shipping options.
Until next time.